Why do pimples always annoyingly appear at the wrong place and the wrong time?

Itu yang muncul dalam kepala gue ketika kemarin Max ngajakin main bilyar sambil nemenin dia FU-in satu cewek yang dihit minggu sebelumnya. Eversince the last three years of intense focus and research on all these Hitman shits, gue lupa kalo gue sangat suka main bilyar and ngga pernah main lagi. Jadi ketika sekarang dapet ajakan, of course gue ngga bakalan nolak.

Di detik gue bilang iya, mendadak gue inget the stupid little red Lex yang baru aja muncul pagi harinya, tepat di ujung hidung gue.

“Oh great, this would make me so consciously-aware and risk my vibe the whole night,” pikir gue.

I know sbenernya jerawat tuh masalah biasa aja, totally not a big deal. Itu sebabnya ketika di perjalanan menuju pool site, gue akhirnya mutusin untuk cuek dan nyari asyiknya aja, even kalo perlu sampe bergaya norak dengan sengaja dan berlebihan, experimenting with crazy stuff supaya ngga terperangkap dalam frame taking myself so seriously. Alhasil, not only last night I was really loose at enjoying everything instead of being an insecure jackass, but it turned out that the jerawat malah sangat membantu dalam sistem navigasi pool game gue.

Gue ngga perlu repot micingin mata untuk nyari sudut tepat antara bola putih, bola target, dan kantong yang dituju. In fact, I don’t use my eyes at all. All I need to do is just to inline my little red Lex to the target ball and shoot. Ahahahaha!

Ngga ada satu pun posisi atau jarak bola yang ngga bisa gue giring dengan sukses ke kantong. Max, Ross, and Revo was trembling in fear and awe each time I pocketed the balls with my newly found magical power.

Kalo pake istilah rap, I was pimplin’ hot!

😀

So ketika sampe rumah, glad that this whole pimple thing was over and a bit proud that I could endure myself successfully through it, tiba-tiba gue inget kalo besoknya, or hari Jumat dan Sabtu ini bakalan ada HSEW.

Come on, man, the timing just can’t be better!

So this is my prayer for tonite.

Oh Almighty Pimple God and Goddess, please let me channel your power again through little red Lex just like the night before so that I won’t suck at the workshop. If you help me to stay prime and focused in delivering the goods, I promise to release a training DVD set on The Pimple System.

Amen.

Time for a sneak peek into one small part in my gloomy lossy past.

Terjadi kalo ngga salah empat or lima tahun yang lalu ketika gue purposedly membiarkan diri terjatuh dalam lembah ngarep yang frustating. What I meant by ‘purposedly’ is that at that time gue udah ngerti tentang bahayanya bermain dengan cewek inflasi, kemungkinan ilusi emotional connection yang muncul kalo mainin game secara Long-Distance via online, even gue juga ngerti dimana gue harus batasin minat dan investasi gue dalam komunikasi dengan si cewek target, but entah kenapa somehow gue tetep berusaha menyakinkan diri that this is different and it’s really going to work.

I’m sure a lot of guys can relate to that story.

Long story short, the relationship crashed before it had ever begun. Terribly annoyed and in pain, I made a lossy mellow song in only five minutes and spent the whole two weeks singing it like crazy in my desolate room with my broken five-strings guitar and a bleeding heart. Ahahahaha!

I never mention or tell about this song to the girl. Itu cuman memoriam yang gue buat sebagai reminder supaya ngga ngulang the stupid adventure ever again. And for the sake of desentisizing my self from that bad memory and have a good laugh about it, I present to you boys the Lossy Song below.

Besides, it’s a great song too, sayang simpen sendiri aja, hehehe…

So, from 1 – 10, how lossy was it?

Buat yang koneksi internet lemot, coba link streaming pake yang ini aja.

Beberapa menit yang lalu HP gue nerima SMS begini: “Bro, temen cewek di kost’an gue suka pake baju seksi, tanktop and doyan juga ama gue. Dia sering jemur CD di kamarnya. Gimana tango yang ngga ngarep dan ngomongnya apa? Gue suka gugup kalo liat baju yang transparan.“

Nomornya sih asing, tapi siapa lagi kalo bukan alumni HSEW yang bisa ngajuin pertanyaan and kasus sedetil gitu? Hahahaha, geli ketawa-ketiwi gue bacanya. So, bro, thanks for brightening my day.

In case penasaran dengan jawaban yang gue kirim: “Kalo dah biasa ngobrol, ya tinggal tango aja ga perlu skenario. But kalo loe butuh skenario, coba nih: panggil dia, tarik ala ngeladenin bocah kecil yang rese, rangkul sambil gerakin untuk ngeliat jemuran dan diem beberapa detik, tarik napas seolah kesel, trus bilang, ‘Bukan itu warna favorit gue,’ then lepas rangkulan dan tinggalin dia.“

Satu menit dia langsung dibales: “Siiiip, gue coba deh. Gue mesti senam dulu buat pemanasan tangan.“

Ahahaha, kids.

Pernah ngobrol online or chatting ama anak SD?

I just had mine a couple of minutes ago. Jadi barusan aja pulang dari ketemuan temen, log online ketika tiba-tiba muncul satu window chat MSN dari seorang strangers dengan kalimat pertamanya, “Pie!”

So jadilah gue ngobrol ama cewek umur 10 tahun. How pedo is that? lol

Basically gue bukan tipe orang yang doyan chatting, dan sekarang kudu ngeladenin anak SD.. kaga ngerti mo ngomong apaan, ahahaha! So ya ngasal aja lah ngeledekin dia mulu, ketawa mulu tiap kali ngeliat bocah ini buka topik, ngebales jawaban gue, etc.

Continue reading →